" 老师我走啦，谢谢你哦，星期日再见 "
" 哦，再见了，记得回家好好练钢琴哦 "
" Teacher, what did she just said ? "
" Ohh, she said she is going back now "
English post this time hehehe :3
I went to extra piano lessons today and surprisingly, there is this little girl (I've forgotten to ask what's her name) and she so reminds me of myself when I'm around her age or maybe a little bigger (bugger it, I suck at guessing one's age), first time entering my piano teacher's house.
❀ flashback
❀ flashback
Back then, I was 8 years old. Like her, I barely understand Chinese so I always like asking my teacher on what's going on HAHAHAHAHA. Those days, the only few things that interest me is that my piano teacher loves giving us stickers and she would paste it in our book once we have achieved a certain level of difficulty. That's really fun ! Furthermore, I like to ask my piano teacher to play me all sorts of music when I feel lazy on playing piano. And she always do so as a reward of me being a good girl that day hahaha, I really believe those words as me being a good girl. That really made me to have an urge to be a good girl as to hear all sorts of songs every week.
I remember myself living with no worries. All that worry me is whether I had enough fun for the day or not :P
Now, I'm worried of something, something that I am not sure whether I should be worried of. I am worried of growing up. I wish I could stay in high school forever. It's seems like a phobia to me.
I don't want to accept the fact that I should start making choices now, on what I want to be and everything. I seriously doesn't have an ambition yet and that makes me feel confused on what courses I should take after my SPM (o levels you may call it).
Many people, like as far as I remember there is already 4 people out there who advised me to be a doctor this year. But I don't know whether I could stand being a doctor or not.
People said that to be a general doctor, it takes around 5 years. And to be a specialist, I would need 9 years of studying. 9 YEARS, IMAGINE THAT.
To be a doctor, there may be lots of ot and on call. I saw many doctors around saying that it's really tiring that there may be some days without any sleep.
Furthermore, they said it would be really stress when you are studying it. Many brave and smart people even cried at night when they face problem in understanding what the lecturer is speaking about.
Okayy, so if I don't want to be a doctor. I still have no idea on what to be :( Tough choice to make there. I don't know whether to be an accountant as that quite bad result I got last year end had caused me to have a new idea on accounting. Lawyer ? Ahhh, I hope I could be one, handling different sorts of case and everything. But those laws to be memorize are like hundreds and thousands of them, no wayyyyy. Why not an engineer ? Ermmm, I somehow suck in chemistry or repairing :P Manager ? I think I at least need to study till MBA for that. And I don't have a business base (although my dad is a manager) but I took up science stream this year. And I don't want to waste my two years of tough studies on science.
what should I be ?
I remember myself living with no worries. All that worry me is whether I had enough fun for the day or not :P
Now, I'm worried of something, something that I am not sure whether I should be worried of. I am worried of growing up. I wish I could stay in high school forever. It's seems like a phobia to me.
I don't want to accept the fact that I should start making choices now, on what I want to be and everything. I seriously doesn't have an ambition yet and that makes me feel confused on what courses I should take after my SPM (o levels you may call it).
Many people, like as far as I remember there is already 4 people out there who advised me to be a doctor this year. But I don't know whether I could stand being a doctor or not.
People said that to be a general doctor, it takes around 5 years. And to be a specialist, I would need 9 years of studying. 9 YEARS, IMAGINE THAT.
To be a doctor, there may be lots of ot and on call. I saw many doctors around saying that it's really tiring that there may be some days without any sleep.
Furthermore, they said it would be really stress when you are studying it. Many brave and smart people even cried at night when they face problem in understanding what the lecturer is speaking about.
Okayy, so if I don't want to be a doctor. I still have no idea on what to be :( Tough choice to make there. I don't know whether to be an accountant as that quite bad result I got last year end had caused me to have a new idea on accounting. Lawyer ? Ahhh, I hope I could be one, handling different sorts of case and everything. But those laws to be memorize are like hundreds and thousands of them, no wayyyyy. Why not an engineer ? Ermmm, I somehow suck in chemistry or repairing :P Manager ? I think I at least need to study till MBA for that. And I don't have a business base (although my dad is a manager) but I took up science stream this year. And I don't want to waste my two years of tough studies on science.
what should I be ?
The other thing I'm extremely afraid of is that I'm afraid that as time goes on, I may lose everyone that is important around me. A few days ago, MH370 is announced that it is crashed and everyone is dead. Newspaper of the next day is all about the family members of the victims, their lost, their feelings, those tears are indescribable. Words could not describe their lost.
On that same day, one of the Catholic High School's student passed away. The reason is that they had a prefect camp, and on their way back after the camp, the bus driver drove too fast down the slope which caused 35 students got hurt and 1 students passed away.
I couldn't hold back my tears when I saw my primary school close friend posting all those statuses about her losing her boyfriend. Those sentences that were clear that she couldn't accept the fact, that the wound of her heart would never recover anymore and it will cause a deep scar that would be there forever. She desperately want him back, she couldn't sleep and eat properly for days. I kinda pity her, she wrote one status about her losing her dearest grandpa two years before she graduate from elementary school, then she lose her boyfriend two years before she graduate from high school, she couldn't understand why, why everything that she loves around her leaves her, should she be daring to love someone again ?
What if someone important to me leaves me one day ? What if my family members or my BFFs leave me one day ? I hate farewells ...
Is it a problem to wish to not grow up ?
Guess some thoughts here and there had brought me a little too far teehee