I don't know how do you think but all these questions keep on popping out in my mind lately.
I've been already 16 years old this year, but after all the calculations I did, I believe that all the time accumulate together that I spare out to serve the world, the society and most importantly God, it actually didn't really exceed 168 hours which is equivalent to a week.
I am really glad that I am born in an Adventist background. Ever since I was a month old, I go to church every Saturday. A church is a training ground to teach you all these stuffs, I remembered the first time I went on stage to present a special number when I was only 4, the first time I presented a speech was when I was at the age of 9, at the age of 10 I went to visit a centre full of handicapped kids and also I learnt to play the piano for the church, I was only 14 when I first served someone needy. All this just came in one after another, continuously giving me time to train myself for the future. I thank my mother for bringing me along to church since young age, and I would never hesitate but to also make the same choice as my mum if I were given a choice. If it isn't that church, I wouldn't have the courage to stand on top of the stage and to speak something, I wouldn't even think that I'm able to learn so many survivor skills and to also know music, most importantly, I wouldn't have such heart to think about serving the others. I really am glad and proud to say that our church is actually doing a great job in bringing us up as an individual that practice on serving the others and not to only live for yourself.
You see it really is an important concept to know that you can't just live for yourself. Okay you may get a degree or even get a master and ended up having the title of PhD or something but what's the use of it ? You can possibly earn what you need or even earn the whole world but then, you must always remember that you are actually owing everyone to help you in your success. Yeahh, you are smart and whatsoever but you see you need to thank your mum and dad for giving birth to you and also giving you this family and all your needs. You also need a teacher to teach you. You need that friend to help you when you are in need. You need that enemy who teaches you how to stand up for yourself whenever you faced a problem. You need to thank that doctor who saved your life a hundred times. Thank the community to give you a warm feeling. You need that hug and soft encouragements when you are down. You need God for always leading your way and to always let you know that He will always be there whenever you need it. Everyone around practically did a little of this and that to help you, if it isn't them giving you all these, I believe that I won't be alive until today. All of them have the responsibility to each put in a bit of colors into my life.
Try to imagine the time when your mum deliver you out as a baby. Don't tell me she didn't go through any pain throughout the labor, I believe that no one else are willing to bear those pain except for those mothers out there, she doesn't have any sickness or anything but why would she bear it ? Why ? Because she loves you. It's just that simple. Remember the time when your parents carried you from hospitals after hospitals when you are sick ? Staying up late at night just to make sure you are comfortable ? Why did they do so ? Because they love you. Remember the time when Jesus died on the cross for you and me and every single one of us ? Why did he do so ? He is the king of kings and the Lord of Lords in heaven but why does he needs to sacrifice for all of us to be a humble human and to be crucified on the cross. Why ? Because He loves us. It's all always that simple.
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16 years. 16 years of experiencing unconditional love. 16 years of going through tons of care and love. 16 years of miracles happening one by one. 16 years of blessings upon me. What favour did I ever did to return all these throughout this 16 years ?
It's already holiday since a month ago. And then on like all the other holidays, people would be making goals and resolutions to be completed in this holidays. Goals on studying hard to reach a certain level of success, to play a certain video game until you reach the maximum stage, to watch a hundred tv movies, to complete playing a new piece on the piano etc. But not long after the holiday started, I made a choice on having a new and different wish. I just wish that I could spare some time to help the others and to serve God. Thanks to God's preparation, he led me to work out as a volunteer in helping others to do free health screening, to also spread the importance of health and those health messages to the people around us. Trust me, it seems to be just an ordinary job but you know what, this is one of the most memorable and meaningful holiday to me. I definitely had learnt a lot in going out almost every week to help them. Yeapp, it may seems like the most simplest thing to do, to just register whoever that comes for a visit. But you know what ? I learnt a lot, I learnt how to communicate with them, to get to know them, to care about them, to counsel them, to spread health message to them and so on. And do you know the very second when they say goodbye and to hope to wish that they could see me again the next month, that feeling is really touching that they really do show encouragements and supports to what we are doing to the others. Those sincerity really do give us the motivation to go on.
I really thank God for also finally answering my prayers and also the burden and doubts that I had throughout all these years, 10 years. I finally made a choice on what I would want to be in the future. After all these years, I had participated lots of career workshops, getting countless of advices and so on. But finally I think I got a calling about it. I remember crying for many nights being unsure of my career path. Getting really scared of people asking me such questions. I remember over stressing myself and to feel really depressed well sort of (I get depressed over lots of stuffs actually) over these matters. I remember blaming myself for not having a goal since young - a goal that would change my life completely. And then after the camp that I went two days ago, I got my answers for everything. An answer that actually satisfied all my needs. An answer that would definitely make sure that I have extra 1/10 of my time or maybe more to help the others and to serve God. You may be wondering, why 1/10 ? Well, there's this person who told me that if you don't have 1/10 for the others and also for God, it means that you are living for yourself. 1/10 seems to be a small amount of fraction. But hey, I lived till 16 which makes it around 1 year 7 months, isn't it a lot if it is counted this way. Of course we could give out more of it, and I am sure we should. But as minimal as that, we should spare out 1 over 10 of our time. So yeah back to the topic, that camp was probably the best camp ever because it actually leads me to my future. Okay get it clear, that camp I just went isn't any career workshop or anything to do with giving me an idea on what should I be in the future. But why I somehow thought about this ambition is that I am not sure about how I got it also, I guess it's something that has been telling me about it deep inside my heart. I have been thinking of what can I do for the world and the community and God, and that's when an appeal came towards me, a calling that told me all the answers. Then on, I made a choice, with my tears rolling down my cheek, my nose being all sniffly, I finally do make a choice on my future. Those tears are definitely a mixture of happiness and excitement, one that shows me that I could finally do something for the others. Finally after 10 years, I could change my burdens into the burden of achieving it and to also help the others.
All these time, I was always spending my holidays in other countries, with my cousins, or the worst was being all bored and cranky throughout the whole one and a half month. But this holiday was probably the holiday that would be the most important ones to me and to also change my life forever. And I would strive for my best to achieve this commitment I've made.
Stop thinking about all those I(s) and me(s), try thinking about what you could do for God.
A silent promise between just me and God, without anyone interfering it.