We tend to hope to achieve a zero percent rate of failure in many aspects of life, or at least after much trials and experiences, we would succeed one day.
However, there's always a balance in our life, we may succeed in this aspect but on the other side we might not be able to work anything out in another aspect.
If you'd ask me whether I'm still reminded by them, I can't deny that I wasn't. It is often at the least unexpected and random-est moments that a picture, a song or even a place makes my heart feels heavy.
No turning back I would say, eventhough the songs only play a small part as compared with all the memories we went through but the songs especially fill me with guilt and regrets for each of them.
Yes, it hurts.
Yes, it hurts.
B I was working on my task, trying my best to get it done as soon as possible. You came over with my other friend. That was when my other friend said "eh I thought you have a song for her". I looked up and you sang "i'm in love with the shape of you". I might be rude but I glare at you immediately hahah.
C Everytime we were on our way to McD to study, you would always sing 丑八怪, it's interesting how you would purposely choose that song on your phone everytime we reach a traffic light. I would definitely hear it twice per time we visit McD, to and fro once for each journey. It's interesting also on how you would like this song that sounds quite odd to me and you would always sing to it as if you experience a heartbreak and that I wasn't in the car.
We were on our way to McD again, I actually saw this really huge hot air balloon and it immediately brighten up my mood. I pointed at the window and happily shrieked "气球(balloon)". You literally laughed and explained that it's a "热气球(hot air balloon)". I must say everytime when we pass through that junction, I would still get excited like a typically 3 year old and would make the same old mistake of calling it a balloon and each time I would get corrected by you. That's how both of us like this song 告白气球 Love Confession (direct translation- confession balloon).
I was working on my homework. You saw me frowning hard as I couldn't understand the calculus question and then you said "Have you heard of this song 'Little Do You Know'?" I shrugged and you sang a small part for me. I laughed and said I didn't like it. Now to think about it, since then it became my most played song.
D I remember we are having a performance soon, and you were sooooo nervous. You kept on asking me how should you stand etc, I kept on assure you that you are fine. I remember when you stood up there presenting Soar on Wings like an Eagle 如鹰展翅上腾, you were too nervous to smile, your face is way too still. I tried smiling at the back, indicating to you that you should at least don't look too fierce. Towards the end of the song, you did saw me and I feel so sorry cause you laughed upon seeing me smiling so fake-ly.
We were standing side by side, in charged of a songleading that day and one of the song is My Hope is Built on Nothing Less. You and the crowd continued singing in the main language however I prefer singing in another. You were shocked and you looked at me confusedly. But I'm very sure I've already sing as soft as I can but yet you can still here me, I was indeed amused by your hearing. We exchanged looks and then after the whole thing ended, I told you about how good is your hearing and you told me you wanted to learn piano.
E I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw you posted a post about 50 facts of yourself or something similar. You stated that your favorite song was the song Jar of Hearts, I then excitedly message you telling you how much I love that song too, yeah we were really close then and we continue on discussing every song by Christina Perri. I remember I then immediately fell in love with this other song Penguin, which is what I tend to call you way before I found this song. It suited you perfectly, you too agreed about it.
F The whole class was punished for our misbehavior. We both have duties during recess time but it seems like this punishment would end up being a detention and I was really nervous for being late for my prefect duties. That was when that teacher requested a representative from us to sing any song in order to release all of us. I looked up at you and you gave me a "no, not this one" face. I pleaded for your angelness for a super long time with my puppy dog face but it didn't work. That was when I said "remember the 1000 times you owed me ? I shall forget all of them and I would never count anymore owes forever if you go this time". You looked at me with an unsure look, yeah I was that demanding little girl who always calculate big amount of times you owed me for the simplest ‘kindness' I do but subtracting a little amount when it comes to me owing you. I might add up to a hundred if you asked me to borrow you my homework, but I would only count a maximum number of 2 when it comes to me asking you for answers when needed. Of course, you did sang a song infront of the whole class and of all songs you actually chose our national anthem Negaraku.
G I was learning piano and my piano teacher introduced me to play this song Maybe. She was saying on how much you love this song and how much effort you put in playing this song. I was curious because she said she didn't like this song at first but she then slowly like it because of you. I started learning it and to my surprise, you actually think I played okay that day when I was playing it alone.
H We were competing on how well we can play the piano. I have to admit you were a lot better than me and I can't even be compared with you. However, my ego is still there and I refuse to surrender. The next day, you printed this piano sheet with the title Canon in C. To my surprise, after that we somehow became more mutual in discussing music and we promised that we will compete one day with that song.
Songs like these makes me think of the past and sometimes I wished I could turn back time and make a bit of a twist to all these stories. let bygones be bygones, let the memories stay.
ps: none of them are my ex